Thinking of letting go ..

What do you do when you feel that you might be bailing out of a relationship? There are certain things that are obvious but I just refuse to face it .. I thought that it will eventually go away ..

How long should I be giving myself .. how long more do I think I'll be able to bear .. I probably should not have said 'bear' because this is something that I should have known right from the beginning .. What gives me the right to be complaining now?

I keep saying that I don't expect anything out of this relationship .. and in the recent days I realised that I was dead wrong .. so so wrong .. In fact I demand a lot out of a relationship .. I'm just too proud to admit .. or am I afraid to chase him away ..

There are so many times when I asked myself if I made a mistake by leading him to give up his last relationship .. Till now, almost a year later, Ii'm still feeling like a second. I brought this upon myself ..

He's been so nice and I would say he's the one that I dream about .. 80% of the time at least .. I know that problem lies ith mw which is why I refuse to bring it up .. What is wrong with me?!